Every hour I started my classes by asking my kids who was "electricity-challenged" to raise their hands. I could already tell who they were...just by looking at them. I recognized that "deer-in-headlights" look that I was also feeling. We told our stories of our triumphs and our disappointments as we worked to survive in our powerless world. We all connected around how much we miss our wifi and our TVs. It was like a mini-support group for the light-less.
By the end of the day...I was weathered. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gasped. My hair looked a little like Kramer's (OK...a lot like Kramer's). My eyes had dark circles under them. I was decidedly disheveled. I was as grateful as a person could be that I had a personal day coming up because I didn't think I could manage another day of getting ready for work without heat and light.
Today my kids are all at school. I am sitting in Starbucks (SHOCKER) writing...because I have an appointment later that I just can't miss. If I didn't...I never would have taken this day off. Never. Because my kids and I were ALL a hot mess yesterday. I feel like I should be there to hear their woes. But alas...I didn't have to get up and brave the day without a shower.
I was laying in my cold bed last night congratulating myself for surviving two days without heat and light. I thought of all the things I couldn't manage because I didn't have my basic needs met. And then I remembered...
Lots of kids show up in our classrooms EVERY DAY having none of their basic needs met. We expect kids to manage seven different teachers a day. Seven different assignments. We expect them to take a big test...or present a big project. And what I remembered is that some of my kids (and yours!) feel like I feel today all the time. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
They may not always be without electricity or heat, but they are without so many things that we take for granted. They feel like THIS all the time. And I think too many of us forget THAT too much of the time. Teachers can get so caught up with teaching curriculum and getting through their standards, that kids, especially the most vulnerable kids we serve, get left in the dust.
I am no good to anyone today. I am freezing. I haven't had a hot shower. I had to dig for clothes in the dark. I am totally and completely discombobulated. Some of our kids feel like this all the time. The last couple of days was a good reminder for me about the basics. And just how hard it is to function when you're worried about the basics. Electricity. Heat. Food. Water. Clean and dry clothes.
And often the kids that ARE worried about these things...have the hardest time trying to keep it together in school. I did...just yesterday. And I only had to endure a couple of days in the dark. And I really didn't have to endure...I could have easily just stayed with my sister. Not everyone has that luxury when they are cold and hungry. And understandably, they act out. Or shut down. Or fall asleep.
I'm still freezing as I sit here drinking my $7 latte. I may even still whine later to my sister. And get her to feel sorry for me so that she will cook me a nice warm dinner while I use her hot shower and heat and cope with my "situation" by using her wifi and watching her cable. But I will try to remember how miserable this made me so I can help a kid to feel less miserable when they are sitting in my classroom. And I will do whatever I can to meet some of their basic needs so they can enjoy school. Even if it's just a little bit.
My days without heat and light have not been for nothing.
Tera, Tera, Tera..you are SUCH a treasure. Every day we were reminded of such disparity when we were both at the same school. Kids perhaps sleeping on the floor going to school with kids who literally slept on brass beds which were professionally polished each year. Kids who often times had their only meal at school unless our principal took leftovers from the school kitchen (shhhh-don't tell anyone) and took it over before the kids got home to catch him. I like to think that Larry Miller raised up a whole lot of sensitive, caring people. YOU continue this legacy for all you touch. May we all pass it on.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I read this, I made the mistake of reading it out loud. To my sister. And I didn't get through it without some tears. I am so aware of how lucky I was to go to Field School. Every school should be like that. Every single one.
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